5 ways to tell that a mens toilet has been designed by a woman

  1. The urinals are too close together


  2. There is nothing more disconcerting than rubbing shoulders when you are in the middle of both a private and delicate act
  3. There are an even number of urinals
  4. As an extension of point 1, there is such a thing as Urinal Chess. It goes something like this ...


  5. Move 1: take either the farthest or nearest available urinal, never the centre urinals

  6. Move 2: if both the nearest and farthest urinal is not available, take any urinal that leaves at least one between you and the next bloke (i.e. leave a space in between you and the next guy)

  7. Move 3: if neither the nearest nor farthest urinal is available and if no available urinal meets the constraints set by Move 2, use a stall (unless drunk - at which point Moves 1 and 2 hold but Move 3 goes by the wayside)


  8. If we accept these as tenets, then the following also holds true about urinal arrangements and their 'true' capacity for use


  9. As you can see, any even numbered urinal serves no increase in capacity and is a waste.
  10. There are more stalls than their are urinals


  11. Most of us men would spend more time standing up than sitting down. Please let that be reflected in the fittings and fixtures.
  12. The entry door is located so that it bangs the person at the nearest urinal
  13. If someone should walk through that door at the wrong moment, this can make things veeeeeeeeery interesting ...
  14. You can see heads over the stalls
  15. Men are taller than women, so stalls need to go higher than women's stalls. Otherwise ... well it can all just be a little disconcerting, really.